I was thinking about the etymology of the word forgiveness this morning while I was swimming laps. How was THAT for an opening line?! Etymology is “the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history” says the dictionary. I was thinking about it because I found myself having hard feelings about a few somebodies in my life while my body worked and my senses were numbed by the repetitive motion. I pray alot when I workout.
Anyway, what is forgiveness…really? Letting someone off the hook? Giving them a break? What about when people do wrong and desperately need to suffer some consequences in order for lessons of wisdom to to bore through their thick skulls! Like mine. Yes, consequences are good….and we need them. But dismissing wrongdoing, in my opinion, is not forgiveness…it’s stupidity. It’s actually really confusing, isn’t it?
Forgiveness is what someone does wrong to me or someone I love…or to some random person but I find out about it and get pissed off. The anger that arises in me is the issue of forgiveness, not the action I take regarding the offender. Forgiveness is something that must happen in me, regardless of what happens to the offender….if not, the lack of forgiveness in me will give birth to other, more sinister masters. Ah…I said “masters!” YES, because as we all know, the result of unforgiveness is the cruelest of masters!… and it will captivate you and shackle your joy until you bring it out into the light and ask forgiveness for it.
Interesting that we must ask forgiveness in order to be released from the demons of unforgiveness.
When Jesus’ followers asked Him to teach them to pray, He said (among other things), “…’Father…Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us’…For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Really? It’s there, check it out. Deal with it. Pray about it. Learn from it.
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. (Wikipedia)
None of this means that the offender should get away with whatever he or she has done. Actually, that would not be good for him/her…and would certainly not promote justice. Consequences are necessary and good, but the hardness of hatred inside us when we do not forgive is like cancer.
Forgiveness is giving a precious gift to someone who has just spit in your face…BEFORE they say sorry. I used to think that forgiveness was something I give after someone says sorry…but that’s not it. It’s FOR-GIVING. Giving something before. This is impossible without the resources that God has planted inside us. Seek Him.
