This morning I went on a run in the rain. Not super fun, but once you get into it and warm up a bit it’s not THAT bad. The weather was fitting for the state of my soul. Very frustrated. I pray when I run…and as I did I found myself beating around the bush with God, as if He doesn’t know my heart better than me anyway! Honestly, I was frustrated at God. First off, we need to know that it’s ok. Frustration is a secondary emotion to something deeper….pain, confusion, disappointment. The Important thing is what we do with our frustration. Have you ever been disappointed with God? Are you now? I was disappointed with God this morning because I always seem to come back to the same basic struggles…ruts of sinful & self-centered patterns that sabotage me from the inside out. So why was I frustrated with God? Because He’s God, and He’s supposed to fix me right?!
Sometimes all of us get frustration, angry, even enraged at God because He doesn’t overcome the natural limitations that He has setup in this world…whether it’s in our own hearts, or in the fallen world we live in.
I was angry at God because I want Him to do a miracle in my life, and deliver me from my crap so don’t keep making the same mistake. I was reminded that the Apostle Paul wrote:
“I don’t want anyone to think more highly of me than what they can actually see in my life and my message, even though I have received wonderful revelations from God. But to keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:6-10)
So I kept running out the stink in my soul, and began feeling better…more relaxed knowing the God is indeed with me in my journey through this short life.